Where Your Body Ends and the Objects Begin

Your arm is bleeding. That is fine, I don't care. Your train is leaving. I know, I told it to.

This is my in my own head as I am stuck on a train I never wanted to step onto. I left knowing that I could step in any direction and still feel like I was going the wrong way.

A walk occurs between the burrito place and my friend's apartment. A torrent of rain keeps it company halfway.

The moving image in front of me is myself suspended over the foreground. I am staring out of a window into myself.

I think it's time to stop searching for people or places to fall in love with. I align my life congruent with another. I obsess about them. I become jealous of distance and time. I expect unreasonable things to be done for us to be together. I have to stop helplessly following people. I must stop trailing behind waiting for anything that comes out. I need to forget how to need it.

never enough time to get anything halfway done

These are the words exchanged between Terrin Durfey of Boilermaker and I. It's just a sparse brush of the shoulder with a musician I looked up to and eventually familiar being, regardless of how short that contact. However, I never got to meet him and I still regret not going to that fundraiser every day of my life. So, in my weird way of trying to desperately save my memories, here is that exchange.

the first message I got after he messaged a profile I 'managed' called midwestmo. it basically featured a brand of 90s punk that I love and Terrin was apart of.

"thanks dude for the nice words. and thank you for your concern. my wife and i really appreciate it.

it looks like you and your friends are into some nice music. i like the westemo.

again thank you so much.

sincerely

terrin durfey"

START THIS MESSAGE FROM THE END. I'LL PUT QUOTES AROUND IT. SORRY, IM NOT GOING TO TRY AND EVEN EDIT IT RIGHT NOW. ITS A MYSPACE MESSAGE.

"sorry about that i didn't see your last message. we have a show at the avalon which is 21 and up and a show in ventura on wednesday the 20th at a place called the majestic. i don't know if it is all ages or not. i'll try to check my messages again before then. it's hard to keep up with emails while on tour i apologize.

terrin

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: omar romero,

Date: Feb 17, 2008 2:00 AM

hey dude

whens the show again anyway

you didnt reply to my last message but i dont mind!

be safe

omar

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: The Jade Shader

Date: Jan 25, 2008 9:06 PM

hey omar what's happening.

don't even worry about the fundraising. nothing is in the works and good positive thoughts are plenty enough. things are going great so many people came out to help (almost too much if that's possible) don't even feel bad for a second.

i'll be up in your area next month playing in pinback. we are playing the glass house in pomona and the avalon in hollywood.

kick ass in high school. put everything you've got into it. i regret slacking my senior year i should have put in more effort. my grades weren't bad at all but they could have been alot better. good to hear from you take it easy until next time.

later

terrin

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: omar romero,

Date: Jan 19, 2008 6:08 PM

hey terrin!!!!!!! ive been thinking about you man. things here in the oc have been alright. just finishing my last year of high school.

anyways, more importantly, how have you been? and when are you guys going to have another fundraiser? because i still feel bad for missing the other one

thanks for sending me a message, i appreciate it :)

be safe

omar

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: The Jade Shader

Date: Jan 19, 2008 2:08 PM

hows things?

terrin"

active (volcano) bands

i've been passing around these homemade compilations of bands that are active that people should check out. a lot of them are touring. a lot of them are visiting my state. im excited. listen to them. support them.

heres the link: http://www.mediafire.com/?317dekl9r3cs0tl

these are the bands and songs i have used for this collection of musicians. if you are a band and has found this stupid post and hate it so much and dont want to be associated with me. let me know and i'll remove you from this folder which will be annoying since i will have to upload another folder to mediafire. but hey. whatever.

emperor x-go captain and pinlighter
des ark-peace to you too motherfucker
pygmy lush-asphalt
jakob olausson-live to tell
woman year-funkify no
hail seizures-elephant man
slingshot dakota-until the day i die part 2
snowing-i think we're in minsk
algernon cadwallader-spit fountain
sirs-youre gonna be great
tubers-these quantum leaps are killing me
ape up!-no troy
facel vega-capital
son skull-stand on the shore/laura
dead friends-the jesus blizzard
1994!-thank all you guy helpening
raein-4
we were skeletons-exposure to heavy metal causes whatever
ten thousand leagues-peaces of mosaic
cassilis-carcassonne
edhochuli-things people say when they're high
pine barrens-kingmaker

Through the Surface of the Water

Alec Soth

Soothing images of the Mississippi. Much of the empty space and solemn framing of the photos remind me of Joel Sternfelds work. He recently began installing his project Broken Manual at the Walker Art Center. He had been active on that project since 2006 and has finally been able to show the public. His website sheds more light on individual pictures. The third picture above, for instance, is of Johnny Cash's childhood home.

Sleeping By the Mississippi

Wisconsin's Public Libraries

The Wisconsin's Historical Society website holds some pictures of their public libraries dating back 100 years. All very beautiful images of ornate buildings and settings. Enjoy.


Link to Gallery.

obsolete, another break in my bones

the cursor has been blinking for about five boilermaker songs. i know i have a lot of things on my mind i want to spread out onto this page but i glance over them as if they are thoughts i had years ago. thoughts that i now look upon with some kind of aged arrogance. maybe its because i feel like ive had these feelings for so long. i almost feel silly for still having them. that shitty bleak feeling a teenager feels as he or she crawls into the 'adult' world. ive been doing a lot of dwoddling and way too much indulging in any kind of want that presents itself to me.

that strange, familiar discomfort is beginning to show itself again.

"i don't beg for anything, especially to be alive"

best weekend ever or best weekend ever?

the birth of our twenty minute hug

scarlet sidwell: I'd still be down to shake hands.
omar romero: Sure, why not
scarlet sidwell: Alright. At exactly 6:38.
omar romero: NO
omar romero: Really?
omar romero: shit
scarlet sidwell: Is that good for you? We can reschedule.
omar romero: I guess it's ok
scarlet sidwell: What do your 7:54's look like?
omar romero: Filled with hugs
omar romero: sorry
omar romero: I got a bus full of kids coming through
omar romero: They're low on hugs
scarlet sidwell: WHAT ABOUT THIS KID, HUH?
omar romero: I thought I was going to shake your hand.
scarlet sidwell: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO YOUR 7:54'S?!?
omar romero: Maybe a glance. The hugs are draining
omar romero: Be my 7:56 and I'll give you a hug that will take up my 7:56-8:00s
scarlet sidwell: I'm gonna need more of a commitment than that.
omar romero: HOW LONG OF A HUG DO YOU WANT
scarlet sidwell: At LEAST until we leave to go to the movie.
omar romero: SO`HOW LONG WILL THAT BE
scarlet sidwell: 7:56-9:45
omar romero: I don't think monet will have much fun watching us hug each other
omar romero: 20 minute long hug?
omar romero: Can we compromise?
scarlet sidwell: Fine.
omar romero: Pick the time.
scarlet sidwell: You can clock out at 8:10.
omar romero: We're doing this ok
scarlet sidwell: Okay.
omar romero: I hope you're into it as much as me
omar romero: Give it your all
scarlet sidwell: I was just thinking the same thing.
scarlet sidwell: We should separate and then act like we haven't seen eachother in a really long time. Like a picking you up from the airport after ten years of separation hug.