my laugh is immortal

i've finally pulled myself out of that stupid hole. im actually appreciating other peoples presence. i've even made some effort to go see them. needless to say, life is fab. however, i continue to rot in between the weekends at home. which is usually yours truly dragging his hairy knuckles through the internet looking for the next band that can give him a boner. so far, i've had good luck but i can feel my eyes straining harder and harder. of course, i'm scared of it. my dreams are a huge reflection of my fear of losing my sight. always hazy, foggy, unclear, without color. i feel a lot better though. i dont cry as often as i used to. ive stopped eating my feelings. ive let go of those episodes of deflated postures and gloomy gazes while i continue to create dermatological havoc with all the amounts of spicy food i love and enjoy. it's only a matter of time until people actually start finding me sexy. also, the other day i enjoyed a hazy, wobbly but entertaining evening with four pals. we went ice skating and its safe to say that we probably impressed some people out there. actually fuck that, we went fucking plastic skating and whatever genius thought we would be able to skate over that should reevaluate their life. i was so mad that i eventually figured i should fall on my knee already so i could limp for the rest of the night. the wrong knee brought to you by monet riceroni. she's one of those pals i have. no resentment being held but one would think so by how much i bring it up. i tend to bring up a lot of things that shouldn't be brought up. i don't even mind the three hour bus rides it takes to get to them each week. the bus ride, while soul crushing at times, only makes me feel impatient. what really breaks my balls is having to ride all the way back home to orange county. either way, effortless loyalty and admiration exists for these people. i hope i never come home. repeating. for infinity.